I've been wading through a series of heavy days as of late; days, though, that beyond my control are melting into weeks - and months, even. I've been wrestling with feelings of fear, of panic, and of anxiety - so much of which is entirely new territory for me, and the shores of which I feel not altogether equipped to walk along. My chaotic days give way to dark nights, clashing and forming what often feels like an insurmountable mountain of stress; and it has reminded me of the great need that exists to call on others for help.
It's a great and mighty task to be called Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and still keep hold of those dearly beloved and needed strands of Self.
But in my quiet moments of peace, I remind myself that none of us is called to battle without an army of lovers, supporters and like-minded women behind us every step of the way. Each of us has every right to arm ourselves with the deep-seated knowledge that when that tide swells, and if the water comes dangerously close to swallowing us up, we are not alone. I have said before that great power exists in making ourselves vulnerable - and that should we find ourselves in a lonely boat, drifted hopelessly out to sea, it takes only the effort to reach out and ask for help in order to feel the distinct pull of that army lifting us up and out of that darkness we feel wholly and helplessly stuck in.
So along in this boat I float, grateful for those lighthouses on the horizon, as I paddle my way back onto shore.